[CF Devotionals] 2016-07-04 - What Would Michal Say?

1 Samuel 18:20-30, 19:9-17

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Now Saul’s daughter Michal was in love with David, and when they told Saul about it, he was pleased. “I will give her to him,” he thought, “so that she may be a snare to him and so that the hand of the Philistines may be against him.” So Saul said to David, “Now you have a second opportunity to become my son-in-law.” (1 Samuel 18:20-21)

How do you forgive someone who used you? My dad used me. He knew I loved David, and my dad Saul turned that against me. Saul’s hatred and persecution of my husband found its way into our marriage. It came to a head, when Dad tried to pin David with a spear. When Dad missed and David escaped, Dad sent his men to our house, to kill David. I warned David of his fate, and I helped him escape from a window. I was afraid it would be the last time I would see him. When the men asked me where David was, I told him he was sick. It wasn’t a blatant lie; he was sick of my father’s insecurities and death threats.

Later, my dad asked why I deceived him. For any woman, it is hard having to choose between your husband and father. The decision was a little easier for me, as my dad wasn’t behaving rationally; he was attempting to murder my husband. My initial reaction was to keep my husband safe. It wasn’t what would make my dad happy, or be the best in the long run. I was living in the moment.

When my dad asked how I could betray him, rage fumed inside me. He had a pattern of blaming others for his shortcomings. It didn’t matter that I was his flesh and blood. I wanted to scream, at the top of my lungs, that it wasn’t my fault. He wanted revenge, which was the idea behind my marriage to David. He would rather forgo his daughter’s happiness for his selfish gain. I couldn’t let my father blame me for his problems any more. I knew he wouldn’t see things like I do, so I lied. I am not proud of my actions, and would not recommend lying, but I did it as a survival mechanism. I didn’t know how he would respond to the truth. I longed for a real father/daughter relationship, where a father put his daughter first. Isn’t that what a parent does?

Lord, Mend any rift in my relationships. If there are changes that I need to make, let me make them. If the other person needs to change, let him be aware of this fact. Let me have peace that I am doing the right thing. Help me let go of the past, and have a realistic view of the future. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

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All scripture references are from the New International Version (NIV) unless otherwise noted.

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