2015-07-22 - Missing You
Webeditor's Note: Apologies for the recent delay in posting. My access to the Internet is somewhat limited at this time.
Less than a month ago, a dear friend passed away, after a difficult battle with cancer. She was one of the most positive nature people I have ever known. She always felt as though there was hope, and so they would get through it together. The other dear friend is her husband of fifty-one years, and I cannot imagine how much he must miss her right now. Even when you get through things together, there is sometimes a window in which you have to be apart for awhile. My dear husband just went to a place outside of Chicago for a conference, and I was mentioning to our kids, that I missed him, to which our daughter said “Mom, he hasn’t even been gone twenty-four hours; you need to buck up!” She was teasing me, trying to ease my mind. Others have told my dear friend, regarding his recent loss of his wife, that he will get over it. Almost like my daughter teasing me to “buck up”. Well, you don’t get over missing someone that matters deeply to you. You find a way to get up in the morning, knowing at some point, that this is not a bad dream and they are gone, even if just for a \while. People mean well, yet it isn’t helpful to tell someone they will “get over it," their loved one is” in a better place”, or they “aren’t suffering anymore”. Some of it’s not true, some of it is true, and some of it just makes a person feel bad for missing their person.
Jesus wept at the loss of his friend Lazarus. He cared for him deeply, and he took the time to grieve over his loss, albeit temporary. And that is the example set for us, in the time of loss. I don’t know how much time passed in the scenario of the sickness (other than the four days between his death and Jesus arriving), but the point here is that he took the time to grieve. And the amount of time to work through each loss varies based on the relationship, circumstances within the loss, and the support system each person has within all of it. Something extremely helpful, for anyone missing a person dearly, is just to know someone is there to “listen”. If asked to do so, speak, otherwise just listen, so your friend knows you want to be there for them as they walk through their shadow. Let them weep, if they need to also. “Jesus wept” (John 11:35)
Then when Mary was come where Jesus was, and saw him, she fell down at his feet, saying unto him, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died. When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews also weeping which came with her, he groaned in the spirit, and was troubled And said, Where have ye laid him? They said unto him, Lord, come and see. Jesus wept.
All scripture references are from the King James Version (KJV) unless otherwise noted.