2012-11-26 - What Would Reuben Say?
Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, It is because the LORD has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now. Genesis 29:32, 35:21, 49:1-4
As Jacobs eldest, he spoke to me first while on his deathbed. He recalled my younger days of strength, but none of that matters, due to my being with his wife Bilhah. My dad doesnt hold me in high esteem now. In fact, I felt demoted by him. Dad didnt think I should have any dignity. He said I betrayed him with Bilhah. Sorry he felt that way.
So, in Jacobs eyes, one discretion can change everything? I didnt need his blessing. Thats what I told myself, anyway. If I could change the past and get back on my dads good side, I would. There is nothing I can do but apologize, but I didnt do that. Even if I did offer an apology, my father would know it was not real. Parents have a way of figuring us kids motives out, somehow.
Lord, This is not what I envisioned for my life. There are times I wish I could do things over and mend some mistakes. When I confessed my sins to You, I was no longer condemned. Thank You that I can move on in Your peace. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.