2007-11-06 - The Impossible List
Jordan is seven now and Dana and I have tried since he was a little over a year old to have another one. We prayed and prayed for God to give us a child but finally gave up on ever having one of our own. I remember many times trying to console Dana by telling her God knew what was best and maybe he knows something we don't. Bottom line was this though, that answer wasn't really good enough. I couldn't understand why God would not let us have another one. Everyone tells us we do a great job with Jordan. Surely, we deserved another child. We kept praying and began to look into adoption because we really wanted another one. We felt maybe that was how God would let us have another child and that would be okay too. We might not be biological parents again but we'd still be a mom and dad to another child.
About four months ago, Jordan and I sat at the dinner table finishing up the activity that went with our devotional. That night's devotional had been on Luke 1:37. For with God nothing shall be impossible. The activity was to make a list, an impossible list, of things you wanted that you thought were impossible to do or get. You were then to pray each night for them and later write down when God answered your prayers. I remember thinking, or rather praying, "Please God don't let him write down a little brother or sister. Jordan will not understand when you don't give him that. Let him write down anything but that. I know you could give us a child but I don't think you will. Please don't let him write down that he wants a baby." He has said since he was about two that he wanted a little brother or sister. Most of his friends have siblings and all of his cousins do. I was so afraid he would write down that he wanted a sibling. I was afraid that he'd begin to pray about it and give up thinking God did not hear his prayers or that it was too hard for God to do. Before he began writing, I was already trying to think of ways I could explain why God didn't give him a sibling to play with.
Well he didn't write down a baby brother or sister. Instead, he wrote down three words: million, pet, and cup. He wanted a million moneys. For a little guy he seems to worry about whether we have enough money to pay bills or not from time to time. He wants a new pet because Dana and I sometimes talk about how Lacy, our dog, is getting old. But I'm not sure what he was thinking when he wrote cup. I just don't remember his explanation. I was just relieved that nothing about a baby made the list
A couple weeks later, we finally got around to catching up on his allowance after a month of lapse so we decided to count his money. He had over a hundred dollars. That's nearly ten thousand pennies but I suspect to him that must have seemed like a million moneys with all the numbers he saw especially since he can only understand ones, tens, and hundreds right now. One prayer down in a way but we still don't have a new pet. And I haven't a clue if that cup thing ever happened or not. I think he only kept up with the prayers for a day or two anyway.
Well God seems to know how to answer even a somewhat cynical father's prayers too. Dana and I are expecting a new baby. It came as a complete shock to us. I mean we know how it happened but just really didn't expect it to happen because we're not young anymore. We're not Abraham and Sarah but Dana's at an age where the pregnancy is considered high risk. However, she's into the fourth month now and she and our baby are doing fine.
As we've done our family devotionals after dinner, I've thought back to that day a few times and just smiled thinking how great our God is. When we have given up, he's still there and he's still answering prayers. For with God nothing shall be impossible.
All scripture references from KJV unless otherwise noted