2005-10-30 - Keeping Things in Perspective
Psalm 11, Part 2
Possible prayer of David, the Psalmist: I guess my biggest problem is one of keeping things in perspective. Sometimes I get so caught up in the daily grind, worrying about keeping Saul happy and concern for what's happening in Israel, that I lose sight of the real issues. When you're having spears tossed at you, it's hard to think about You, Lord, especially when all you can think about is ducking.
And then there's the country as a whole. I know we aren't where we need to be in relationship to You. Sometimes I think there is little difference between us and the Philistines. We're supposed to be the chosen people. We had You as our king, and now we got what we asked for, Saul. And speaking of the Philistines, though You defeated Goliath, through me, it's only a matter of time before either they or someone else tries to invade us again. And if I'm king, then this will be my problem.
On top of this, I keep demanding peace and an end to my, and the people's, problems. But realistically, I know until Your throne isn't just in Heaven - but here, there wouldn't be any peace. I know life isn't fair, but it will be someday. The problem is I want someday to be now. I haven't forgotten You know my heart, and the fact I am trying to be obedient, in spite of the way I feel sometimes that:
"Though you probe my heart and examine me at night, though you test me, you will find nothing; I have resolved that my mouth will not sin" (Psalm 17:3).
I constantly strive to please you, but Lord, I fall so far short. And I know you will bring justice. You have demonstrated plenty of times You will judge the unrighteous. Certainly you judged Pharaoh when he refused to let us leave Egypt. You have told me Yourself that You hate the unrighteous, and that You will judge them. What I don't understand is why You let things continue to go on like this for such a long time.
My hope is for justification, and in the fact You will bring judgment on to my enemies, actually all the unrighteous, for I know that You are righteous. But when already? You know, this is probably part of my problem. I don't think I'm as concerned about You bringing justice for the sake of Your honor, as I am for the sake of my own desire for vindication and comfort in circumstances. And as long as I'm more concerned about myself than You, I know I'll continue to act out of anger at the unfairness of life. And when I'm in this frame of mind, then when I mean unfairness, I mean that things aren't going the way I think they should go as they relate to me.
I guess that's what I mean by perspective. My perspective is on how everything affects me instead of how I can serve You in the midst of everything. Lord, forgive me. Help me keep my focus on Your will not mine. If You help me to desire Your focus, then maybe I wouldn't feel so frustrated by circumstances. Additionally, I've noted that as I allow myself to remain frustrated, I find a creeping bitterness in my heart. And when I'm feeling bitter, I also feel separated from you. Then I really am alone, and my bitterness grows. It's a vicious circle, and one that draws me away from you. I guess it doesn't matter how difficult life is; I can't allow circumstances to move me away from You. Please help me! Help me to be more consistent in my worship of You, for it is only as I worship and focus on You that I keep perspective, that I remember that You are the King, that You are in control of all and that I must wait on your timing. I may be going to be king one of these days, but You are the only true King.
To be continued.