2002-12-31 - A Tough Year
Isaiah 61:2 To proclaim the favorable year of the
This has been a hard year for me. I have debated, in my head, if I should
send this out. It is New Year's Eve, so here it is. This really has been
the hardest year of my life. I have made it a point to try not to talk about
my personal life in these devotionals, even though I do a hundred or so a
year. New Years is the time for resolutions and I print this as an encouragement
to you to trust the Lord in all areas of your life. It is due to my trust
in the Lord's providence, grace, and precious mercy that I made it through
this year. I know many have had it worse than I, but this year has been a
hard hit to my life. As I share some of my struggles with you I hope you
will look to the Lord in your struggles as life progresses on for us all.
So here is a list of some of the major things with some commentary.
I am sadly going through a nasty divorce. My wife left the faith, and has
admitted to infidelity and thus we are going through a sad time. She was
excommunicated from our church in the Summer of 2002 and we are slowly moving
on, but not together. This has been really difficult upon me as I feel
embarrassed at becoming a "Christian statistic," but also, it hurts more
to dishonor the name and cause of Christ by failing in what was a Christian
marriage. I can only rest in the providence and will of God because this
was never the will for my life.
In April I was involved in a serious car accident. I introduced my SUV to
three trees. We all lost. I had serious enough head injuries that I was knocked
out for some time and did not even know I had serious injuries until 36 hours
after the accident. The SUV was a total loss. I can only see God's gracious
providence in the preservation of my life (No seat belt at 60 miles plus
by the Police report). I know more than ever that I am only here by His grace
and that gives me motivation to serve Him regardless of any cost it might
mean to me. God's preservation is a greater security than any danger we might
My work schedule has been nuts this year. For many weeks I have been over
100 hours. But again, God's grace shines through. I have been able to tone
it down some and hire some help. But if you wonder how crazy it has been
for me, I get three weeks vacation each year and did not even take a day
of vacation -- not even a sick day, or personal day. However, things are
on the up in that department. God, again, has shown His mercy.
Speaking of sick days, and car wrecks, my health was not good this year.
However, here I am writing, so again God's kindness is evident to me. It
could be the car wreck or sleep depravation, the doctors are not sure, but
I simply collapsed this summer and had to be admitted to the hospital for
a few hours. I am stubborn and I refused treatment, but I did get a ride
in a nice ambulance with flashing lights. Again, God was gracious and spared
my life. I have never felt those sensations in my body before and I really
believe that my life was on the edge. I spent the next few months seeing
doctors and no one could find anything wrong, so I am thankful for that
Worst of all on December 27, 2002, I got glasses. I am now a member of the
four eyes club. It is probably the fault of cfdevotionals and ebay. I spend
too much time in front of the computer screen. Honestly, I am so thankful
for the mercy of the Lord that I live in a country where I can get glasses.
His mercy is so amazing and that is what I have learned this year.
I have learned many things this year. It has been a hard year. But I have
learned to trust the Lord more than ever before. Life is full of turns that
hurt and also turns that give joy. Sometimes they sneak up on us. I have
learned this year that resting in Christ alone has been my only hope. I share
some of my struggles with you only because I don't know what you might go
through this year. I never saw this coming in my life. I have learned this
by going through it the hard way and this past year hurt me deeply. However
my trust in the Lord is stronger than ever and it is only His grace and mercy
that has sustained me. Whatever hits you this coming year, I plead with you
to rest in Christ alone.
Soli Deo Gloria,